Monday, November 12, 2012

Letter from the Younger Kazaki.

Dear my future self,

How are you doing? I wanted to write you this letter because...I wanted to tell you how I feel about the world that you are in today. It's nothing like my world, right? I mean, look everywhere!! So many people only prioritize money and songs are starting to get really annoying, eh?

I know that it was an obligation for you to just leave me behind, because well...who needs a kid anyway? Kids can't survive the world. Crybabies can't live amongst humans, right? I'm weak, and therefore I should die, right?

Okay, enough with the drama...heheheh. Let me tell you some of my thoughts about today, and about you. :)


First of all, what happened to the everlasting hope? Why are you losing faith in God? Why do you just...drop everything and don't seem to care anymore? Is being an adult really that hard? I wonder... I wonder how it will be when I become you someday. I mean, I wanted to be a programmer, remember? Or a musician, right? That's what I wanted to be, and I'm really hoping that I can have a good future abroad. But why did you discard that dream? Is it too hard? Is everyone pushing you too far? I want to know.

How are things going in music? Did you have contact with famous people? If so, who? I'm really excited about that! I've always wanted my songs to be known throughout the world. I wanted to express myself, but not become a total celebrity like...uhm, who was that handsome kid again? Justin Bieber? Oh~~ I think he's kind of cute. But I know that you wouldn't like him, right? And I also know that everyone from your era hates him, right? Right...

But you know, you don't have to be afraid in letting people know your emotions, right? It's not like you are going to be in jail because you confessed to a guy that you like him right? Oh wait...maybe that's not a good idea anymore, huh? 

The Internet sure has changed, huh? I mean, back in my time, I could post things about my sad life, and how I never got to be a normal kid. And how much the world discarded me and didn't care about me. But now, if you post something like that, they might actually take you to a psychiatrist, huh? That's really sad. Everyone knows secrets one is exempted...I feel...really sad about it...T__T

So...did you have a boyfriend yet? I totally do not have one right now, since it's forbidden, remember? I wonder what kind of guy did you he tall? Handsome? Long-haired? Is he a Filipino or a foreigner? Tell me about him!! ^___^

Also, did you meet any of your online friends? You know that I've always wanted to meet one myself. I wanted to see how these kind people are like...I wanted know, spend time with them in the real world. I mean, they are like me, right? They're not like those normal, stupid human beings, right? They're from UI2, right? Right? ^____^

I saw how you looked like when I got here in your era. have a nice...err...body...and nice hair...I mean, I wasn't allowed to had a hair color during my time, remember? I know...quite geeky and I really admire and envy you! Heheh.

I would like to be in contact with you again...thank you so much for still letting me live alongside you today, even in a world that's shattered in sadness, chaos and stupidity. Thank you for believing in me...even if I am pointless and hopeless. Even if I am worth nothing...even if I'm a nobody...a nobody...

And as my final message for you in this letter, I hope you take care of yourself. I'm always here beside you. Though I don't physically exist for you to be your younger sister (I wish I could though...), I'll always pray to God and wish you all of the best in the world! I'll be cheering you on! Me and your lost friends...everything that you've lost and thrown away...everything that has been a part of your life...remember to always look back on us. Sure, it can be sad, but this is who you are...I mean who you were. 

Again, thank you for everything. I'll be ending it here, since it's almost dinnertime, right? You don't want to get sick again, ok? Take care, my future self...and my big sister. My ate Kristel. I love you so much. Don't ever forget that...everyone here loves you...even if they are no longer loved...we're always here for you. So don't push yourself into the darkness, okay? Always believe in God. We'll pray together, so that no matter what adulthood brings, we'll win together, okay? OKAAAY! ^______^

Kristel Ann "kazaki03" Almoro Cuadra (15 years old)

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