Saturday, May 19, 2012

Dear everyone,

My wings are tainted in demise and absolute silence. I sit here in the meadows of my fate, trying to replicate the once forbidden memories and wishes when the sun was still above the sky. I am writing this to you to express how I feel.

Funny how the striking iron of reality bends its way towards my throat, as I grasp for nothing but nothingness. You, whom I have desired to meet; I am terribly sorry. I am powerless; I am lazy; women are nothing. So I sit here in my mushroom abyss, dreaming of the day I give these fruits of my hard work for you. I am better than her! I deserve to be noticed! Why do you not see me? Why can't any of you see me?

Oh, that is right. I am invisible. I do not exist in your eyes.

To the many fairies and dragons I have lied to, I also seek forgiveness, just as that man did. Why can't you forgive him? Is he not human? Am I not human? Are you not human? When a woman slaps you, how do you feel?

Perhaps there is nothing more that I want. Nothing more than happiness. Not the happiness that you are talking about, but the happiness that my heart believes in. And maybe you do not even know a thing about it. It is forbidden magic.

Frosted tears are all that is shed. Blood was never this pale. But that is okay; everything is going according to the plan of destiny. This destiny is something no one can ever avoid. So I do nothing but let my wings take me to where I should be, whether in the depths of hell or the clouds of heaven.

Or does heaven even exist?

I am tired of being an examiner of tears. I feel lazy over distorted thoughts. But it is a part of me. This psychotic mind can never be taken apart from my soul. I am not a killer. I am not a liar. I am not selfish. I am not rude. I am not...

Butterflies have thin wings because they were made that way. Each leaf on the ground falls. Time has no meaning. These two rings have no meaning. The clock ticks away at every word and phrase I detach from my heart. Do I even have a heart right now?

You could say fairies and supernatural beings have everything. I am everything. I am what they had been jealous of. But in truth and reality, I am nothing, absolutely nothing.

I drank a small percentage of alcohol today.

Yes, I am sober. Yes, I am nuts. I am just hiding my sorrow because the leaves of the trees might fall down, dry up, and leave the world colorless. I am the world, and I cannot have negative emotions. That is what you say. That is what everyone says. This is why with this sword, I have carved a smile on my face, so you can forever see me smiling. Forever, and ever, and ever...

Listen to that sound. It's the bird of spring. No wait, springtime does not exist in this place. It is just a fragment of my imagination. No! I heard it!

It was a very sad tune. A melody of lament, as if grieving over someone who passed away.

Perhaps I may never be able to truly express who I am right now, but maybe at the end of this life, I can. Then, you can finally hate this wretched body of mine.

I look at the ice. You don't even care. I look at the ice as it slowly melts down the sea of despair. In this white concoction of a milk-like poison sea. I shall keep indulging into it until these hands corrupt in blackness. This white liquid that enters my dead corpse.

No, it is only alcohol. Five percent alcohol.

Anonymous Fairy

No comments: